Enjoy the Silence
by ImJudyGarland
Summary: Nick has just lost the love of his life and is spiraling. Jess isn't gonna let that happen. How I believe they would have really handled things after the break up, and how I know there's hope for these two again, somewhere down the road.


**I just needed to see Nick and Jess hurting and in pain and feeling something from the break up. And then showing some hope for what I really believe is true for them: they're not done. Not even close. We're getting a lot of nothing on that on the show, so this is my catharsis.**

"Nick? Nick, let me in. I just wanna talk to you. Please, Nick."

Several seconds later Nick's bedroom door opened seemingly on it's own, and Jess carefully slid herself inside just in time to see Nick disappear under the covers of his recently torched bed.

Jess left the door cracked so as to cast some light in the dark room. She sat down gingerly on the bottom corner of the bed, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees, and covered her face with her hands. "Nick, I don't know what to say here."

She heard a heavy sigh from beneath the heavy pile of blankets and throws, then a slow, slurred response. "You don't have to say anything, Jessica. It's done. We're done." After another sigh, he concluded with, "You can go now."

Jess sat up, frustration burning in her gut. "No! No, Nick. I'm not going. And no, we are not done."

"What are you talking about, Jess? We broke up. We called it. Finally..." The last word was delivered under his breath, but Jess heard and it made her heart ache even deeper down.

"Yeah, we broke up Nick. But that doesn't mean we're_ done_. We're still friends. Aren't we?"

Nick sat up in bed and quickly grabbed his head, the room spinning all around him. "Jess...whoa...room needs nailed down. Need a new hammer, nail down the floor...look, Jess, we tried. I tried. I failed. But I guess that's what us Millers do. We fail. You don't have to come in here and try to make me feel better. I'll be fine."

"You're not fine, Nick. It's been nine days, you've barely been out of this room, and you've been drinking or drunk almost the entire time. I've never seen you drink that much, and this is _you _we're talking about. I'm worried about you."

"I said I'm fine, Jess."

"Well, I'm not."

Nick held his breath a little, his swirling brain suddenly paying closer attention.

"I'm not okay, Nick. I'm miserable. School's out and I don't know what to do with myself. No more work distractions, nothing to do, nowhere to go," Jess paused a moment, smiling to herself. "This time last year we were in Mexico, remember?"

Nick didn't say anything. Of course he remembered. It's what his mind kept running over and over the last couple weeks. How they were together and in sync. And happy. But that was then.

Jess heard him in the silence. She knew him so well, knew exactly what he was thinking. Everything was great for a while, but now it's gone. So why talk about it anymore?

"You think I'm not going through this too, Nick? You think this hasn't completely wrecked me? Two days after school let out, CeCe literally dragged me out of bed and forced me to go to the bar with her. Big Bob asked how your flu was. I told him you puked all over my new Kate Spade dress, that seemed to satisfy him for now."

Jess sat quietly for another moment before huffing loudly, frustrating spurring her to get up and suddenly begin jumping up and down on the bed.

"Jess..oh my...JESS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The bed rocked him up and down and sideways as she continued to bounce on the mattress. Nausea threatened to unload his most recent round of alcoholic beverages onto his sleeping bag bedspread.

"I'm trying to get your attention, Nick." She kept jumping between his legs, not caring that she knew he was thisclose to barfing on her skirt.

He groaned and sat up, grabbing her legs to stop her causing her to lose her balance. Jess fell down across Nick's lap and the momentum from her jumping almost sent her over the edge of the bed. Nick held tightly to her body, pulling her upright with him, Jess' arms instinctually wrapping around his neck.

Their eyes met, Jess' breathing heavy and labored as Nick finally sobered a bit.

There it was. That thing. The thing that had been there between them since day one, at least for Nick. It was unnamed at first but alway present, always sitting right there to annoy him and taunt him. Or challenge and excite him. Then entice and drag him away to a place he never wanted to come back from. It scared him but he wanted it anyway. So he had followed her lead and jumped all in.

Those days seemed so far away now, but that electric current was still there. He thought about that song he used to play on repeat every time he went through a break up. The lyrics scrolled like a ticker in his brain without his consent.._Pleasures remain, so does the pain._

Jess stayed on his lap, bringing her arms down and resting her hands on his shoulders. "Nick...I know, okay? I know what you're feeling and I know what you're going through. I'm going through it too."

Nick couldn't break away from her gaze, those oh so familiar crystal blues that never failed to stop him dead in his tracks at any time, any place, any day of the week. "I know, Jess. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry, alright. I'm just not sure how to deal with all of this. I mean, I've been through many break ups before but this time, it's different. It's...much harder."

Jess swallowed hard and let her eyes drop to where her thumb was rubbing gently back and forth against his collarbone. "I think I know why."

Nick's throat ran dry and he struggled a minute before responding raspily, "Why?"

"Because...we love each other." Jess waited for him to look at her, giving him a small reassuring smile.

He held her eyes, looking for truth in them, "You still love me?"

Jess moved her hands up to cup his jawline and whispered into space between them, "Yes. Of course I still love you. Why does that surprise you?"

Nick's face finally broke into a smile, for what felt like the first time in years, "I don't know I just...I thought that once we decided it was over, that meant we had to go back to that friend zone and just..I don't know, never look back?" He tried to look down but her hands held firm to his face, leveling him with the rawest, purest emotion he had ever seen in the depth of her blues.

"Nick, I've never loved anyone the way I love you. I don't think that's something that's ever going to change, whether we're together or not. You know?"

Nick slid his arms around her waist, more sure of himself now, "I think I'm starting to."

Jess leaned closer and very carefully brushed her lips against his, pulling away to scan his face, desperate to know that she got through to him, that familiar spark between them rushing through her body. "See, that right there. That will always be there."

Nick pulled her down next to him, and she laid against him, resting her head on his chest and feeling him finally relax. "So. What do we do now? Eat dinner together, hang out with the guys, watch _Walking Dead_, get drinks at the bar and then occasionally hang out in bed together?"

Jess giggled and it warmed him to his core. "Your next girlfriend might not be too happy with that. At least the bed part."

Nick chuckled sadly, "Yeah, and your hunky investment banker boyfriend may not be cool with it either."

Jess laughed loudly, "Ha, yeah right! Well, how bout this?" She went still against him, her fingers linking with his, the chemicals between them swirling freely, alive and well. "If in, like, five years neither of us is with anyone, we meet back here. You in your bed, me on your lap and...we'll see what happens next. Deal?"

Nick huffed out a breathless laugh, hope springing to life in his bones again. "You got a deal, Day."


End file.
